This is me taking pity on our stranded editor and posting as a roving freelance writer currently holed up in St. George, UT (I just realized I don’t know how to spell Utah’s postal abbreviation because I’m a freak and don’t spend a lot of time thinking about Utah.)
This is actually going to be a very meaningful post, honest, because I’m going to quote Frederica Matthewes-Greene. I like her a lot, because she’s female and really intelligent and also Greek Orthodox. She writes books about facing east and stuff, and also frequently writes articles in my favorite magazine of all time,
Touchstone. This is an excerpt from her article
Bodies of Evidence: The Real Meaning of Sex from the July 2005 issue:
My generation has spread the idea that sex is about power rather than vulnerability. While there has always been a pattern of men treating women as conquests, the sexual revolution led women to think in the same way, that making men desire them was evidence of their power.
But that doesn’t have anything to do with love; it can even be the opposite of love. I recently read a review of a book titled Strip City, written by a woman, Lily Burana, who traveled across the nation working at strip clubs. She says that we’re living in an era of “sex-positive feminism.” She calls herself a “gender warrior,” and says that when she dances, she can feel “all the hearts in the room gathered into the palm of my hand.”
Well, that’s a lot of power. Yet she doesn’t feel tenderness toward those gathered hearts. The reviewer says that Burana “relished taunting men because she is revolted by their erotic neediness.” It’s a battle, for this “gender warrior.” Make war, not love.
Here’s something else. Burana says that her work represents new liberation for women’s sexuality. She says we live in a period when “the notion of female desire is being re-evaluated.” But does stripping have anything to do with the woman’s sexual desires? It looks like it’s all about male desire, provoking and despising and ridiculing that. Once again, sex means male desire. For women, stripping isn’t about a deeper understanding of their own sexuality, but about a substitute thrill: the experience of power. A power that doesn’t have much to do with love.
And it’s a funny kind of power. Dancers work in depressing places that stink of mildew and ammonia, exposing themselves to seedy old men. It’s no great achievement if you get a guy to look at your body. Any girl could do that. The dancers are all interchangeable, and nobody cares about their name or history or personality. Nobody looks at their faces. An ex-stripper once told me, “I had to ask myself, if I had all the power, why was I the only person in the room with no clothes on?”After reading these few paragraphs, I did what any self-respecting woman would do when faced with these charges: quickly evaluate her history with the opposite sex -- and I discovered that, uh, yeah, I fit exactly into this model. My "romantic" past has been of the flavour that Matthewes-Greene exposes: with exactly one exception, it's been about desiring a guy to desire me, and not about any legitimate desires on my part.
This is extremely embarrassing to me.
My embarrassment turned to horror, however, when I discovered that one of my male friends espouses what he calls "pro-burqa" views -- that is, that it's really every sensible female's duty to swath herself in four hundred yards of black material because men shouldn't be responsible for controlling themselves, right?
Ironically, this seemingly conservative view is essentially the same as the one Matthewes-Greene notes in the stripper community: it's the belief that the world ought to be keyed to male desire, and women's responses to their Y-chromosomed counterparts -- whether of the sort that Chrisitan would call "moral" or "immoral", the philosophy tragically does not care enough to differentiate -- ought to keep that in mind.
The horror at the philosophy, doubly ironically, didn't come from my friend's view (I've come to expect it from intellectuals who fear their own fleshly ties) so much as the universal reaction of the female friends with whom I've shared this information. They have, universally, been "flattered" by his mandate because it makes them feel "powerful".
What a fabulous power indeed, that requires them to order their lives in reference to a man's sex drive and dictates that any meaningful correspondence between the two genders be carried out on a sexual plane from square one: it's clear that anyone, male or female, who adopts this mentality isn't thinking about the brain or soul of a woman on first contact, even the supposed "intellectuals" who ought to be able to abstract beyond the corporeality they fear so much!
(...Discuss.)